A 21st Century Way to Grieve

Your kid dies in a car accident slamming into a tow truck. A day later, you find out he was drunk driving, his blood alcohol level twice the legal limit. Your kid made a tragic mistake that cost him his life, right?

Wrong.

Hancock's father files suit against restaurant and tow truck company

Yet another example of our the-people-you-know-are-never-wrong-so-blame-everyone-and-anyone-else society.

What video game do you think Elijah Dukes was playing? GTA4 or Starcraft?

REPORT: Devil Rays' Dukes threatens to kill wife

"I'm just going to play ball, that's it," Dukes told the newspaper. "I've got to go. I've got a video game to finish."

Pictures that say it all

The Easiest Final Jeopardy Answer ever

So last night, I'm watching Jeopardy and the Final Jeopardy Category is "Sports Legends" and the answer is:

"From 1977 to 1980, he won a State High School Championship, an NCAA Championship and an NBA Championship."

The three players are James Clark from Monroeville, PA, Cindy Ladensack of Harper Woods, MI, and the defending champion Vic Sawyer of Yellowstone National Park, NY (pictured here). They are more or less tied going into this final round.

I'm thinking "the bets are going to decide this. No one's going to miss the question. This is the easiest Final Jeopardy Answer I've ever seen."

James Clark answers: "Who is Magic Johnson?" and bets everything. He is in the lead.

Cindy Ladensack answers: "Who is Magic Johnson?" and bets 2/3 of her pot. Not enough.

Defending champion Sawyer answers: "Who is Michael Jordan?"

How do you get on Jeopardy without at least studying sports trivia? Even the most casual sports follower would have dunked that one.

I AM AN R.KELLY EVANGELIST
I rarely chime in on things that I've seen blogged before. But this one is must thanks to Paul Matthew Davis. The inimitable R. Kelly and his latest "Sex Planet"

THE SPACE WHERE I WOULD RAGE ABOUT THE CELTICS PICK IN THE NBA DRAFT LOTTERY
I'll just leave you with this, because we'll be seeing more of the same for years to come.

Your 2006-7 Boston Celtics

Former President Carter wants us to know that Bush is much better than John Tyler

"I think this administration's foreign policy compared to President Nixon's was much worse," Carter said. But he said he did not mean to call it the worst in history. (Read what Jimmy said)

Why equivocate Jimmy? Saying Bush is worse than Nixon is not that far from saying W2 is the worst ever. Are you saying he's infinitely better than Millard Fillmore, John Tyler, Herbert Hoover and all the other dead presidents the average American can't remember?

- Watching LeBron James' (10 points, 9 assists) spin-filled ("I trust my pathetic teammates") post-game interview performance, I'm penciling him in for the future GM of the Celtics.

- Didn't Governor Bill Richardson already announce his candidacy? The headline should have read: "Richardson touts roots, resume and general unpleasant disposition in announcement"

- I think this is an ad for Paula Abdul's Bravo reality show.

You can reach Major General Caldwell at baghdadtipshotline@yahoo.com

What's more disturbing? Three missing American soldiers possibly captured by Al Qaeda? Or the fact that the US Military has decided to open a safe, secure Yahoo email account to field tips? What if the strongest tip ends up in the Junk Mail folder?

- Finally the White House backing of Wolfowitz is softening. This after yesterday's wish-wash-fest (of course, the White House wouldn't fire a employee who gave his girlfriend an $80,000 raise and a promotion - that's a slap on the wrist offense).

- Just in case you thought Wolfowitz was just a good guy caught in a bad situation. Witness Wolfowitz throwing his girlfriend under the bus (he had to give her an $80K raise or be in her doghouse). You just did what any guy would do, Paulie.

Things I would pay for online...

- A Michael Vick illegal dog-fighting enthusiast blog and/or podcast. Because when you have a boring day job as a multi-millionaire NFL quarterback, you need to find your bliss. Price I would pay: $19.95 per year

- A YouTube clip of a Stu Jackson town hall in Phoenix after this decision to enforce the letter of the NBA rule and suspend Amare Stoudamire and Boris Diaw for Game 5 of the Spurs/Suns series. Price I would pay: $59.95 (it'd be more entertaining the Mayweather/De La Hoya PPV)

- A list of the words misspelled at this Spelling Bee. Price I would pay: $5.95

On the other hand...

If black/white polls about refs and fouls don't kill you, the other side of ethnic politics will. Read this from the San Francisco Chronicle. Even when a guy shoots 32 people at a college, there's opportunity to do what's most important to the world in these situations: make some hay for the image of Asian-American males.

- Which Asian-American Hottie is Going to Play Cho?

I'll never read Asian Week again.

MTV Reality Show Space/Time Continuum

- With the proliferation of MTV reality shows, ever notice how tough it is to follow the passage of time with some of these characters? Colie's yapping on The Inferno 3 while she's hooking up with three guys in Real World Denver. Susie's getting into a fight with Ace on The Inferno 3 while she's on Road Rules. Maybe there are parallel Susies and parallel Colie's in the 5th reality TV dimension?

- Perhaps the most irritating trend in the media this week: the uptick of black/white race polls.

Americans conflicted about Bonds' home run chase
(Americans = blacks and whites only)

Study of NBA refs sees racial bias in calling fouls

Good to know that Asians, Latinos, Europeans and anyone in between count. I had no idea that this was what was meant by a colorblind America.

Wolfowitz and Silent Conservative Commentators

Paul Wolfowitz helped his girlfriend get a promotion and raise at the World Bank? How the hell does he have a girlfriend? Has she not seen Fahrenheit 9/11? How do you date someone who was caught on camera licking his comb before slicking back his hair?

Oh, and by the way, President Bush gave him his rare, hard-won endorsement.

- Watching Real Time with Bill Maher. He really should have righty intellectual heavyweight Lisa Schiffren on all the time. She's the Alan Colmes of conservative commentators. Here's an example of one of her incisive no-spin political analysis.

Hey Flyboy
Women voters agree: President Bush is a hottie! by Lisa Schiffren

Paraphrase:
MAHER: The government is not counting car bombs and explosives as part of its claim that sectarian violence in Iraq is declining? Doesn't that give you pause?

SCHIFFREN: (blinking) (smiling)

Every one of Maher's rather straightforward questions is literally stunning her into silence.

- And on cue, someone finally questions the Los Angeles LaKobers.